ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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