I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
