oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
