I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
