Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Floor bacon is actually really good
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
