you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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