let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
