Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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