the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
