ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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