Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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