I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
