The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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