But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You took a bar mat shot.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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