I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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