I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
