Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
