Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
