Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
