How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
