even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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