I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
