does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I enjoy the company of your penis
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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