In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
