Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
