so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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