Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I need moral support for this bender
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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