she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
