I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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