just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
