WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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