so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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