so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
