Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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