I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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