Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
