Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
