That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
