sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize