You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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