I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
