Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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