well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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