I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
