I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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