new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
