doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
