Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
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2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
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Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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