Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
