Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
