Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
