i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize