And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
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