3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
