lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just forgot I was standing up.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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