Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
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i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
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It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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