Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
